dulu waktu kuliah takut setengah mati kalau pe-er ga selesai.. bergadang sampe berlarut2.. diawali dengan kongsian pulpen rotring dengan 3 teman cowok yg berbagi studio.. sampe akhirnya cuma tinggal aku... di studio akhir, semua sibuk dengan tugas masing-masing...

tamat kuliah, kerja penelitian... juga ngajar sebagai asisten dosen... jadi asisten dengan berjuta nasihat ke adik-adik kelas.. harus rajin!!! harus bisa! lah wong kami aja pas jama ga enak.. jaman kuda gigit kingkong aja masih bisa bertahan bergadang dengan peralatan sederhana (suer.. aku kuliah paling ga punya peralatan! meja gambar kayu tanpa mesin.. kendalinya cuma di penggaris lurus ma penggaris segitiga rotring!... suer.. habis ga tega minta duit ma Dad) - nah jadi cukup heran kalau ada yang punya meja gambar lengkap, pake alat, mejanya pake pedal lagi.. naik, turun, naik, turun.. kayak bawa mobil.. tapi pe-ernya ga siap.. lah itu namanya keliwatan!!

hare gene.. anak2 di kampus dah berlaptop-ria.. semua serba auto-cad.. keren abis! tapi.. apa pe-ernya siap? lah aku emang bukan dosen.. cuma mo kasih semangat aja.. bahwa dgn tekno yg luar biasa canggih hari ini kenapa pe-er jadi ga kelar? apa krn tanggung jawab jadi makin dikit? ato ilmu download, copy, paste menjadi semakin mahir? jangan ya dek.. eh.. nak.. eh ... dek.. (harus manggil apa dong? kalo adek, mrk bukan adek kelas.. kalo anak.. mereka bukan anakku.. bukan juga mahasiswaku...)

nah sekarang giliranku... kenapa juga jadi berubah ya? dulu ruajiiinnn (sumpeee) banget bikin pe-er.. sampe semua dikorbanin.... sekarang lah ya kok sulit abis ya mo mbaca, mo ngetik.. gimana pe-erku mo kelar??? baru aja pagi ini baca email dari sang professor.... biasa, beliau dengan baiknya ngasih referensi bacaan... katanya , " nak.. baca.. baca.. trus diolah.. dipikir... dianalisa.. dont get stuck on the history of conflict. You are part of the elite group who is studying about peace resolution... so you gotta think about the theory too, how they are applied.... dst.. dst.. dst..." -

aku nulis ini krn udah ga enak ati.. sebulan menelantarkan pe-er.. hiks.. seharusnya jgn begitu. lah wong uda ijab kabul mo sekolah, masak sih di-cere-in sepihak??? lagian kan sayang uang sekolahnya..

jadi.. Uni.. HARUS RAJIN!!!

ergh... doain! biar kelar.. *otak ku rada ngambek*

For those who cares for cup'o'coffee and a lil bit of love :)

I sit here since last night

I can feel you're still by my side

When I hark back to what happened in the past

Your smile re-appears in my sight

Coffee could never work on me

Until last time you had an ice-blended one with me

I can't believe it that I felt so free

O that can be another collection to my sweet memory

Ga Ada Judul Lagi

terhanyut dalam langkah kaki

bergetar menapak

tersihir oleh mata

tapi juga oleh tautan puisi

masa yang terlewati

kadang berbalut asa semu

menghilangkan jejak tapak kaki

di atas bulir pasir yang tajam dan panas

dan ketika desiran air itu menyentuh

tercipta kesejukan abadi

yang pernah terabaikan tak terasa

sapaan alam

pasir panas dan deburan air dingin dari kedalaman laut

panas yang menghangatkan, tapi juga menghujam

dingin yang memeluk lembut tanpa ragu

insan

hanyalah roh yang tidak punya kuasa

sering menghukummu,

bulir pasir yang pedih

atau dincintai oleh lembutnya air yang menghidupkan

hanya menjalani

"Rachma! Mail for ya!!! "

So one day I found a book on how to tell a character by the way they write, from where they are starting their lines, and where they stop.

Those who write with straight up letters, are people who demand clarity.

Those who starts their lines in the middle of an empty paper, don't think about material as focus of their life - instead, they love attention.

Those who likes to doodle rectangular and curve lines, love to imagine. A day dreamer. Art oriented.

Those who doodle with numbers, have some sense of logic.

My gosh, if a person love to doodle pictures and numbers, will have their logic and imagination clash almost all the time. As the usage of brain and emotion are equally balance. (damn it!)Those who keeps writing to the edge of the paper until the letters have to be squeezed into small letters, often bump themselves to the "wall", allow themselves to fall, again and again...and just never learn...as their passion to achieve things that inspire and light up their life just stop them from thinking rationally. (so where did the brain factor here?)

Those who the ending stroke of their signatures is going up will have good fortune material wise (Gosh...really? Change urs! Quick! :-) )

Those whose signatures are cut into small lines often has emotion that change every seconds depend on the mood and situations.

But heck..above all...those who loves to write letters are romantic individuals by nature...(Are you? ) - to bad, in the era of electronic mails, no-one leave their personal marks by stroke of inks anymore, just to show they care. Where did the time go?I love emails - but I miss seeing our old mailman honking his motorcycle and call my name: "Rachma! Mail for ya!!! :-)"-

Jan 15, 2010, 23:40

suatu siang tentang cinta (by Rachma)

Waktu itu mobil baru saja selesai diperbaiki. Ada beberapa kabel yang memang sudah rusak dimakan tikus-tikus yangberkeliaran di garasi rumah. Mobil itu hadiah Daddy buat Ummi. Hadiah ulang tahun. Bertahun-tahun Daddy, membawa kami dari sekolah, pergi kerja, hanya dengan lobil fiat tua yang sekarang ada di tanganku. Kembali ke awal cerita, Jules menceritakan bahwa lagu ST12, yang liriknya ‘satu jam saja ke telah bisa cintai kamu di hatiku..’ sedang diputar di tape mobil itu. Dia menyetir, Ummi duduk di-sampingnya. Dari sudut mata, Jules melihat bahwa Ummi terdiam memandang ke kejauhan. Tiba-tiba dalam diamnya Ummi nangis, tapi terlihat dia tidak sadar kalau Julesta, suamiku, melihat itu. Pikirannya dipenuhi oleh rasa kehilangan suami, Daddy, yang sudah berpuluh tahun menemani.

Paragraf di atas sebenarnya karena siang ini aku berpikir tentang kehidupan berpasangan. Aku ingat Jules siang itu, setelah bercerita, mengatakan, “Rachma, mungkin itulah cinta ya? Dimana mereka saling mengisi satu sama lain, saling support. Terlepas dari argumen yang juga mewarnai hari-hari mereka dari muda hingga sekarang, tapi sering kita merasakan sakitnya setelah belahan hati itu hilang.”

Aku hanya bisa diam saja. Aku bisa merasakan kesedihan itu. Tahun lalu Ummi membersihkan rumah habis-habisan setelah membiarkan begitu saja selama 3 tahun. Tapi tetap menyusunnya kembali seperti sedia kala. Yang paling menakjubkan adalah susunan meja kerja Daddy, serta urutan koleksi buku-bukunya masih tetap sama. Beberapa hari yang lalu aku melihat-lihat ke dalam laci meja kerja itu, dan semua masih tetap sama, seolah-olah Daddy masih tetap ada.

Sering kita merasa jatuh cinta. Hati berdegup keras, kegugupan yang melanda, pikiran yang jadi tidak pernah fokus terhadap urusan kehidupan. Tapi cinta jauh lebih dari itu. Hanya ada satu hati yang bisa pas letaknya mendampingi hati yang lain. Mencintai itu sebenarnya cukup diwujudkan dalam sikap, bukan tuntutan. Tidak perlu pembuktian, tapi cukup dengan perilaku. Semua itu, walau kadang tidak sering terucapkan, seperti di generasi Daddy dan Ummi, akan tumbuh menjadi sesuatu yang indah, yang dikenang selalu oleh pasangan cinta seseorang.

Antara aku dan Julesta, semoga cinta itu terus terjaga. Begitu juga dengan anak-anak kami nantinya. Aku sangat menikmati kehidupanku dengannya.

ABOUT A FRIEND

Today I found a friend,
Who knew everything I felt.
He knew my every weakness,
And the problems I’ve been dealt.

He understood my wonders,
And listened to my problems
He listened to how I felt about life and love,
And he knew what my love felt like


Not once did he interrupt me,
Or tell me I was wrong.
He understood what I was going through,
And promised he’d stay long

I reached out to this friend
To show him that I truly love and care for him
To pull him close and let him know
How much I need him there


I went to hold his hand
To pull him a bit nearer
And realized that this perfect friend I found
and is the most important person in my life

--------------

I found this beautiful simple poem and thought this is exactly precise for a friend of mine who had spent most of his years being patient with me. He knows me inside out, just from the expression in my face, he knows my every way, and always patient and wait for me to be brave enough to say....and when I dont, he simply hugs me to give me comfort. That's his simplest way. But I adore it with all my heart, for he is a true friend for life. no matter what, seemed like you are always the winner of my heart!

I love you.

life could be worse

so last night I saw a kid, hungry, with clothes as filthy as it could get... I am more lucky then he is

so the other day I got into a crash, bad crash that can just ruin everything.. I am lucky because I was not injured at all

so the car smashed really bad, really really bad and I was all alone when it happened.. I am lucky because the engine was still running, maybe the car can be fixed

so I hate the fact that legal system in my country is so damn bad, even though yes, many had to put trust and believe that it is progressing, but I dont feel it!! .. I am lucky that I still can negotiate

-- even yes!!!! I DESPISE the fact that many of the legal law, the clauses are just so weak that it never support or give satisfying solutions to the victims.. I should feel lucky I dont live in some crzy laa laa land

so I am still confuse with the thesis that I can never get done becuase of too many other obligations I have to do .. I am lucky becuase I can still do it, slowly, uncertain of what I am writing, but hey.. I have got my 10 fingers to type more...

so I am tired for only having 3 to 4 hours of sleep everyday because I have to deal with all the routines.. but I am lucky, I have my life with everyone I love in it!! and I truely want to do everything because I LOVE them! and they are the gems of my soul!

so I am sick and tired of the same thing I have to face everyday, and somehow don't feel appreciated sometimes. I need change... yes, I am lucky, I can make that change. Slowly... I hope I can

so I am confuse, I feel like I am losing a very important friend these passing days...I am so lucky I had my time to be friended with that person at least.. right? am I right or what? I am not even sure anymore. Feels like broken pomises. so I am stuck here in this stupid city, waiting for immigration problem to be resolved. Just because yes, my own fault too perhaps.. our our fault, but we managed... and I am lucky, otherwise I dont know there is a place like this dry boring city like this one.

so I am mad right now... especially because I feel like I am trapped by high walls.... but I am lucky, because I can still be mad...

so I just need a little understanding, a little comforting words.. from you (cant write the name)!!....but I am lucky, I can imagine that I get that understanding and comforting words from you ..

sigh..

oh well..if I can only picture you what kind of battle I have inside my head right now. But I can't.

Life could be worse. and I am lucky that mine is not. And if it is... maybe only for a couple of minutes, hours, days, years.. but at the end.. it will be fine. But pardon me.. I wish I can really say FORK IT!!! right at this second.